


A Moment for Herself

by Musetotheworld



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, because we all know Kara panicking about Cat is the only explanation for half of the episode, now with an updated ending!, post episode fix it fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9528011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musetotheworld/pseuds/Musetotheworld
Summary: It's not until Kara's phone rings that she realizes she may have made a slight mistake in letting Leslie go without a fight...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Spite is a powerful motivator, and that episode needed a lot more Cat to be fixed. Since we can't get it in the show, I bring you the fix it fic we all needed. I'm up three hours past my bedtime and taking a sick day so I can get some sleep, but this was worth it. Enjoy!
> 
> Now with an updated ending as Mayka pointed out I have a habit of rushing things and she was very right. So this flows better and I'm definitely happier with it.

“Hello?” Kara answers her phone in confusion, not recognizing the number.

“Why the _hell_ did I have to hear about Leslie from the evening edition?” Cat’s familiar tone rings in her ear, voice cold and sharp. “Really, Kara, you couldn’t spare a _single_ call to let me know the woman who swore to kill me had escaped?”

“I’m so sorry Miss Grant, it slipped my mind,” Kara half lies, wincing as she remembers how unhinged she’d been when she’d heard Leslie had gotten loose. She hadn’t been able to think through the panic and sheer need to recapture the villain and keep Cat safe. She’d been so panicked that the little detail like ‘warn Cat’ had been overlooked.

After all, Cat is safely across the world in London, and Leslie has a big issue with water. It wasn’t impossible for her to cross the ocean, but it would take time, and Kara could track her down if she tried. There wasn’t reason to worry Cat over nothing, right?

Apparently Cat disagrees, because this is the angriest Kara has heard her since the incident with Adam, and the memory of that fallout already has her shrinking back even though Cat is too far to be of any threat. Not that she could hurt her anyway, though Kara wouldn’t put it past her with the right motivation.

“Slipped your mind? The woman threatened my life on _multiple_ occasions and I slipped your mind? Glad to see my years of mentoring made an impact. I’d hate to think I was forgotten so easily.” Cat doesn’t seem to have accepted Kara’s apology, not that the hero can blame her. It’s a mistake that should never have been made, and Kara can already feel the guilt threatening to bury her.

“I’m so sorry, Miss Grant. I should have called you. I didn’t stop to think that you might want to know, I thought you were safely out of reach,” Kara admits, hoping her apology will be enough this time. If it’s not, she’ll find a way to make it up to Cat. She deserves that much after Kara’s mistake.

“I suppose I can forgive you, I can feel your puppy dog eyes from here. At least I know you’ll have caught her by now,” Cat says with a sigh, and Kara freezes. Not only at the casual confirmation that Cat knows her identity, but at the fact Cat doesn’t know the full story and Kara is afraid to tell her.

But after forgetting to call, not telling her would be an even greater betrayal. Not to mention that as Kara thinks back to the semi truce she has with Leslie for now, there’d been no mention of Cat and her safety. And even though Kara wants to believe that Leslie will know better than to try for Cat, she can’t guarantee that. Not when it could mean Cat’s safety.

“About that, Miss Grant,” Kara starts, nearly losing her nerve when the other woman goes silent and still on the other line. “We reached a sort of truce to defeat the mastermind behind this, but in order to stop her from killing him, I sort of, well, I sort of let her go…”

There’s dead silence from the other end of the phone for a good ten seconds, and as much as Kara strains her hearing she can’t hear even the sound of Cat breathing. Kara hadn’t heard a tap that usually accompanies someone muting the phone either, which means Cat is completely still right now. It sparks Kara’s guilt all over again, and suddenly she needs to see her, know she’s safe.

But after everything that’s happened, even before Livewire, Kara isn’t sure that’s her place. She wouldn’t blame Cat if the woman never wanted to see her again, and as much as that hurts, Kara would respect her wishes. She’s majorly screwed up this time and she deserves whatever censure Cat sends her way.

“You let her go. You let a murderous metahuman loose on the people of National City, the people of Earth. Kara, what the hell is going on with you right now? You haven’t been this foolish since you first started flying around in your color wheel fashion disaster.” Cat sounds disbelieving, but she also isn’t hanging up, so Kara will take the win for what it is.

“I couldn’t let her kill him,” Kara explains, knowing that she’d made the right choice there at least. Everything else might be a mess, but saving a life is never the wrong decision. “But you’re right, I didn’t think about what letting her go might mean.”

“You’d better hope she doesn’t show up in my hotel room tonight, or so help me Kara Danvers, I will find a way to make you pay.” Cat sounds completely serious, and Kara is already nodding before she remembers Cat can’t see her.

“I’ll have the agency I work with monitor all transcontinental flights for electrical irregularities,” Kara promises, wishing there were some way to go back and fix this.

“I don’t see what good that’s going to do you, I flew into Newark yesterday morning for a meeting with some UN dignitaries,” Cat says with a scoff, and Kara feels her blood run cold at the words.

“No, you were safe in London,” she manages to gasp out, feeling her earlier panic and worry come back full force.

“I was, but this meeting opportunity came up last week,” Cat says, worry starting to color her voice as she reacts to the fear in Kara’s. “Kara, don’t tell me you let her go without knowing where I was. Just because I won’t run doesn’t mean I particularly enjoy the thought of her coming after me again.”

“She won’t have a chance, I promise you that,” Kara says, fighting down her emotions and doing her best to sound determined. “I only told her I wouldn’t go after her immediately, I think I’ve honored the terms of that agreement. Now if you’ll excuse me Miss Grant, I need to see a friend about tracking her down.”

Kara doesn’t wait for a response before hanging up, even though she knows she’ll be hearing about that next time they talk. What’s important now is finding where Livewire has gone and getting her back into containment. Kara will work on getting her a nicer cell, but there’s no way she’s risking Cat’s safety over this. Leslie might still be in there somewhere, but right now Livewire is the one in control, and Kara can’t trust her.

“Winn, please tell me you can track Livewire,” Kara calls as she strides into the main control room, startling the agents standing around.

“If she’s using her powers I can,” Winn says, swinging around in his chair to study his monitor. “I thought we were giving her a little R&R from the whole prison thing though. You know, a chance to lie out in the sun, work on her tan.”

“That changed,” Kara says, fighting not to snap at him. She’s wound up about this whole mess, not to mention the Guardian fight, but that doesn’t mean her friend deserves to have her emotions taken out on him. Especially not when he’s helping.

“All right, well, then let me just keep scanning, and I’ll see what we can do,” Winn says, and even without Kara snapping he’s clearly picked up on her frame of mind.

“Let me know the _second_ you find anything,” Kara says as she stares at the map, barely noticing when Alex comes up to stand next to her.

“I know that look. Something changed. So, spill,” Alex says, leaning over to bump Kara’s shoulder with her own. The comfort is welcome and grounding, but Kara is too focused to really sink into it just yet.

“I thought Cat was safe, but she’s back in the country,” Kara confesses, grateful when Alex doesn’t groan at the mention of Cat. They’ve had more than one conversation about the dangers of her hero crush, but Alex seems to understand that Kara can’t deal with another one right now. “I thought she was in London, I thought I’d be able to stop Livewire before she could get anywhere close to her. It’s not like she has many options for crossing the ocean, it would take her some time. I thought I’d have time.”

“Winn will find her, don’t worry,” Alex says calmly, and Kara tries to believe her. She knows Alex is trying to make her feel better, but she has to believe the words. She has to believe that she hasn’t screwed up and risked Cat’s life. “You know what, while he’s looking, you should go.”

“I’m not leaving until we find her,” Kara interrupts, upset at the thought. There’s no way she’s doing anything other than wait here for the moment they find Livewire.

“I mean go to Cat. You need to protect her, I can tell. So go do that. Tell her Kara called you or something,” Alex explains, and Kara feels a wave of relief wash through her. She can go to Cat, she can protect her from there.

Then the rest of what Alex had said sinks in, and Kara winces as she finally turns to face her sister. “I don’t have to tell her that, she kind of already knows I’m Supergirl again,” Kara admits. At Alex’s look of horror Kara heads for the door, not wanting to wait around to have that conversation. “Tell me when you find her, gotta go!” she calls back over her shoulder before taking off. She already knows the hotel Cat will be staying at, the only one in the city that meets her exacting standards.

She calls Cat when she’s somewhere over Michigan, slowing down just enough to make sure the connection is solid and the wind isn’t overpowering. “Miss Grant? I have agents working on finding Livewire, but until we find her, I think you’ll be safest if I’m there. And I’m sure you have questions.”

“Oh, does this mean you’ll actually answer them?” Cat asks, sarcasm clear in her voice as Kara winces. “Will you be bringing the NDAs for me to sign before admitting anything else?”

“No NDAs this time,” Kara promises, though she half expects Alex to follow her in the DEO jet with an entire stack. “But I’ll still answer.”

“I assume you remember which hotel?” Cat asks, and Kara hums her agreement. “Top floor. Balcony door is open.”

As the call disconnects Kara speeds up again, crossing the remaining distance in just under a minute before slowing to land carefully on the balcony of Cat’s room. Even knowing Cat is expecting her Kara hesitates before entering, feeling somehow as if she’s entering Cat’s personal space despite the balcony being off the sitting room of a hotel.

But this is the first time she’ll be seeing Cat as both Supergirl and Kara, and it’s immediately after she’d made a major mistake. Nothing about the meeting puts Kara at ease, and she has to take a few deep breaths before she can bring herself to open the door.

“You make better time than I would have expected,” Cat says as she looks up from her tablet, face unreadable as Kara stands awkwardly in the doorway. “Hit a nice tailwind over the plains?”

“I actually did,” Kara says, shifting in place for a moment before stepping the rest of the way inside and closing the door behind her. “but I also wasn’t pushing my speed to the limit. I tested it once, if I really push I can make it to France in less than five minutes.”

“Hm, too bad you can’t take passengers, think of what you could do for my travel time.” There’s a hint of bite to Cat’s familiar banter, a hint of Kara’s old boss mixed in with Supergirl’s mentor. “Don’t just stand there, come sit down so we can talk.”

Another deep breath and Kara is crossing the room, painfully aware of the way Cat is studying her every move. She hates feeling as if she’s disappointed the woman, and even with the cape and crest can feel her shoulders beginning to droop in reaction.

“I really am sorry, Miss Grant,” Kara starts, only to be interrupted by a raised hand from Cat.

“First off, you still apologize too much. You’ve told me exactly how sorry you are, we don’t need to keep repeating it. Second, I’m no longer your boss, and this is a decidedly personal conversation. Call me Cat. Third, what the hell is going on with you lately?”

“I, what do you mean?” Kara asks, brow scrunching in confusion. “Nothing’s been going on with me, not really.”

“Then why are you making ridiculous decisions like letting Leslie go, or quoting yourself in articles for Snapper, or getting into a fight with a mutated climate change scientist without knowing what he could do to you?” Cat asks with a pointed look, and Kara flushes at every criticism she adds. “You’re better than this, Kara. We saw that last year with the Myriad mess. You’re struggling, and you need to figure out why before we end up with another oil spill in the bay.”

“I’ve just felt so adrift,” Kara admits after thinking about it, wondering when exactly a trip to protect Cat and let the woman yell at her had turned into this. “Everything changed so fast, and then it never stopped changing. Mon-El fell from the sky and then fell in love with me. James and I dated then broke up, and then I find out he’s risking his life as the Guardian every night. Alex is happy and I’m happy for her, but it means she isn’t there the way she used to be. And I shouldn’t depend on her, but it seems like I’ve lost everything in my life that kept me stable. Even my new job is more challenge than reward right now, though I think I’m finally starting to get that under control.”

Kara hadn’t realized how much she needed to vent until Cat offered her the opportunity, but it helps a surprising amount. The deep seated frustrations that had been building for so long are finally out there to deal with. And Cat isn’t yelling at her, even though she deserves it, instead she’s just sitting there letting Kara get it all out.

“We’ll come back to James and his apparent idiocy later,” Cat starts, and Kara can’t help the grin that crosses her face at Cat agreeing with her. “You’re taking on too much, including things that should never have been yours to deal with in the first place. I thought you’d learned that lesson by now, Kara. You’re only one person. One super powered alien from another planet, yes, but there’s still only one of you.”

“I know,” Kara sighs, finally relaxing back into the sofa as Cat’s words seem to drain the tension from her shoulders. “And I try to remind myself of that, but between trying to turn Mon-El into a superhero and trying to find my place in the world, it always feels as if I should be doing more.”

“Kara Danvers, I swear to whatever god it is you worship, you know better than that. The fact that I told you to own your power does _not_ mean you have to own every problem in the world too!” Cat sounds exasperated, not that Kara can blame her. She knows that what Cat’s saying is right, she’d just forgotten for a while.

“I’d forgotten how well you give an inspiring speech,” Kara jokes, though she means what she said. And from the look Cat is giving her, the woman knows she means it. “I really have missed you, Cat.”

“I’ve missed you too, Kara,” Cat admits without a hint of deflection. “I’ve been enjoying my time exploring the things I never got a chance to do, but I have missed you. I’ve missed CatCo too, and my city. Europe is lovely, but it’s not home.”

“You could always come back,” Kara says softly, hoping Cat won’t see the naked hope in the words. It’s a selfish request, but one Kara can’t help making.

“I don’t think I’m quite done with everything I can do out in the rest of the world,” Cat says gently, and Kara tries not to be crushed even though she’d half expected the response. “But if you’re really that speedy, then there’s no reason you can’t drop by any time you need a motivational lecture or two.”

Kara isn’t sure she’d heard right at first, but when she realizes what Cat’s offered her, it’s all she can do to stay seated instead of rising to pull Cat into a hug. Even from a distance, having Cat in her life as an anchoring support will give her something she can count on as everything continues to change around her. Even just the promise that she’ll be there would be enough, but Kara can hear the sincerity in her words, knows that Cat truly wants her to reach out.

“I may take you up on that,” Kara responds with a beaming smile, already feeling better.

“Now, on to the next thing,” Cat says after she returns the smile with a softer one of her own, and Kara nods, expecting the usual questions about her life on Krypton. “Why were you so distracted by Leslie that you forgot to call? I know you’ve been distracted by trying to take on too much, but if I remember correctly the last time she got free your first stop was trying to convince me to run to safety.”

“I thought you were already safe,” Kara tries, fidgeting as Cat sends her a sharp look. “I mean, I did, but I also maybe panicked at the thought of her being out? And you were safely away but she could still try to come after you, so I wanted to catch her as quickly as possible, before it was an issue.”

“A warning would still have been nice,” Cat says with a glare, and Kara knows her well enough to see the hint of fear lingering behind it. “Especially as you later decided that capturing her wasn’t a priority.”

“She seems to have focused on blaming me now,” Kara says in an attempt to explain, fighting down the urge to offer yet another apology. “Maybe she doesn’t even intend to come after you.”

“I’d rather you not stake my life on that,” Cat says dryly, and Kara flushes. “And Kara, you can’t panic every time someone is threatened. You won’t be of any use as a hero if you do.”

“It’s not every time,” Kara argues without thinking, only realizing what she’d said when Cat shoots her a sharp look. “I mean, it’s not like I freeze up every time I have to fight someone, right?”

“No, you don’t,” Cat says thoughtfully, and Kara freezes as she wonders what Cat’s figured out. “You rarely panic, in fact. Only with the people you care about.”

 Kara can’t meet her eyes, even knowing she’s probably past tipping her hand at this point. Cat’s won countless awards thanks to her investigative instinct, one poorly hidden emotion will be no challenge at all.

The silence stretches on, and before long Kara can’t take it anymore. “Yeah, only with the people I care about,” she admits, finally looking up from her clasped hands to meet Cat’s eyes, hoping she hasn’t ruined everything. If she was a little better at hiding from the people she cared about there might be a chance of playing it off, but as recent events have driven home far too well, sneaky is not her strong suit.

The moment hangs between the two of them as the silence stretches on, neither seeming willing to break the stalemate. Kara doesn’t want to move backwards, to take back the half confession she’d offered, but the thought of moving forward terrifies her. And Cat seems to feel at least something similar, because she shows no signs of breaking the silence either.

They probably would have gone on just staring at one another until Kara broke down and admitted the full truth of her emotions, but her phone goes off before that can happen. The text tone is loud in the silence between them, and Kara jumps before she can control herself, looking around wildly to make sure it’s not Livewire showing up to ruin her day.

But it’s just a text from Alex, and with a sigh of relief Kara relaxes to check what it says.

“Are you kidding me?” she exclaims as she reads it, looking up at Cat in disbelief. “They already caught Livewire. I told them to call me when they found her.”

“I may be missing something, but isn’t the fact that they caught her a good thing?” Cat says with an arched brow. “I know I’m relieved, for one.”

“But I should have been there, what if they’d gotten hurt?” Kara argues, standing to pace as she feels the restless energy and worry rise inside her.

“Didn’t we _just_ talk about this?” Cat says as she stands as well, crossing the room to stand in front of where Kara is pacing. Hands on her shoulders bring Kara to a stop, and with a sigh she meets Cat’s eyes, letting the worry drain from her stance as she remembers Alex is fine. That Cat and everyone else are safe again. “You can’t be everywhere and do everything, Kara. Your sister obviously realizes that, you need to start believing it yourself. Sometimes taking a moment for you is the best thing you can do.”

The reassurance is exactly what Kara had needed to hear, and with a sigh she relaxes into the feeling of Cat’s hands on her shoulders, letting their comforting weight take the place of her guilt and worry. Cat’s concern and care is a load she’ll gladly bear, far more welcome than the earlier guilt and worry. She’s always the strong one, and not just because of her super strength. But here with Cat, she doesn’t have to be. She can be fallible, as long as she admits to her mistakes and strives to be better. She can be human, rather than the hero everyone else needs her to be.

“Thank you, Cat,” Kara says, pouring the truth of the words into her voice. “You really do always know exactly what I need to hear.”

“You deserve to have someone you can lean on sometimes,” Cat says, reacting to the thanks by pulling Kara in for a hug that the hero doesn’t even try to resist. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Kara. You’re allowed to be as human as the rest of us.”

They stand like that for several long minutes, just soaking up the contact, until Kara finally moves to pull away. “I should probably go check on everyone, make sure they’ve at least got Leslie in a decent cell this time,” she says reluctantly, not wanting to leave.

“Once you have, you’re always welcome to return,” Cat promises, direct gaze making sure Kara understands and believes what she’s saying. That she understands even though this isn’t the moment to press forward, Kara doesn’t think her care and emotions are unreturned. That when the time is right, Cat will be there for that as well.

There will always be this place, these moments where Cat lets her be who she needs to be. She will always be able to take a moment for herself here. And that promise, at this moment, gives Kara more power than the sun ever could.


End file.
